Have you ever pulled a richard branson? – saying yes to something now, and figuring out how to do it later? Yeh, that is one of his most famous bits of business advice. Which to be honest is ironic considering I feel like this is how women have been living life for the good proportion of human history. We just get on with it and work out the best way to get something done. Amirighhhhttt???
There are a million different safety tips we could share, probably enough to scare you into not going! So we’re not going to do that, but we do want to share just a few, super simple little sneaky ones which we swear by!
But seriously this ‘blagging-our-way-through-life’ mentality, as well as being super bold and brave, can also mess with your confidence, your self belief and then even ability! Do you ever feel like you’re ‘winging it’ at work? Like you’re not quite qualified enough for the position you’re in? Do you wonder when all your colleagues are going to realise this and wonder how the hell you’re in this role?!
Yep, us too. This is 100% IMPOSTER SYNDROME! This isn’t just a made up millennial phenomenon (think JOMO, paying £15 for avocado on toast or crafting your own beer from coffee beans and leftover chill powder). Imposter Syndrome is actually described as ‘a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalised fear of being exposed as a “fraud”.’ But girl, we’re here to tell you, you’re not alone.
According to a survey taken in the UK – 90% of British women experience it, (and the totally even more official poll taken at my last house party) showed 100% of our friends have experienced it too. Even our American queen Michelle Obama admits she does too, doubting why people should ‘take her seriously’. We’re not pretending there is some magic cure for this, the anxiety is real. But there are some things we love to do to keep it in check, and make sure the doubt doesn’t escalate into full on disbelief!
1. Mantra's aren't just for Instagram.
We all do it, talk ourselves out of something or bring our own confidence down. Even if no one else is saying it, we’re telling ourselves “I’m not good enough, I don’t have enough experience, I’m too young/old/poor’ etc etc etc.
If so, STOP! Immediately! We need to take control of our own thoughts, intervene with positive thinking patterns, before they become self-perpetuating and take on a life of their own. This is basically self-medicating with CBT! Cognitive behavioural therapy – it works to shift your thought process and behavioural actions, there are so many awesome CBT apps, such as Catch It. If you find it hard to begin turning your neggy self doubt thoughts into posi boosting thoughts, try one of these apps, give it a go and just see!
Positive mantras and affirmations can be super effective. For instance, before heading into a big meeting, an interview or even before a standard Monday, repeat your 3 best achievements, attributes or skills out-loud to yourself. I know a woman who actually listens to an Ed Sheeran track called, ‘You need me, man, I don’t need you.’ …Now we can’t personally vouch for this as well, its Ed Sheeran, which is our least fave artist to listen to ever, but this friend insists hearing this line repeatedly really changes her mood.
2. Perfection is a myth and failure is valuable.
We all do it, talk ourselves out of something or bring our own confidence down. Even if no one else is saying it, we’re telling ourselves “I’m not good enough, I don’t have enough experience, I’m too young/old/poor’ etc etc etc.
If so, STOP! Immediately! We need to take control of our own thoughts, intervene with positive thinking patterns, before they become self-perpetuating and take on a life of their own. This is basically self-medicating with CBT! Cognitive behavioural therapy – it works to shift your thought process and behavioural actions, there are so many awesome CBT apps, such as Catch It. If you find it hard to begin turning your neggy self doubt thoughts into posi boosting thoughts, try one of these apps, give it a go and just see!
Positive mantras and affirmations can be super effective. For instance, before heading into a big meeting, an interview or even before a standard Monday, repeat your 3 best achievements, attributes or skills out-loud to yourself. I know a woman who actually listens to an Ed Sheeran track called, ‘You need me, man, I don’t need you.’ …Now we can’t personally vouch for this as well, its Ed Sheeran, which is our least fave artist to listen to ever, but this friend insists hearing this line repeatedly really changes her mood.
3. Push yourself, don't punish yourself.
This is one of our faves! We recommend this WHOLE-HEARTEDLY! Regularly challenge yourself to do something that scares you. Maybe hosting a workshop for your colleagues to embrace public speaking, take up a class – dance, music, cooking, ask your boss for a pay rise and present them all the reasons why you deserve it! By doing this, not only are you continually growing, but you end up surprising yourself with your own capabilities and thereby boost your self-confidence.
4. Watch your body language.
There’s a great TED talk by Amy Cuddy, in which she describes an experiment that shows just how much our body language impacts our mood. In it, a group of people did a ‘high-power pose’ before an interview (such as standing up straight with hands on hips), and a second group did a ‘low power pose’ (sat slouched over with arms folded). Those in the first group performed much better in the interview, and tests showed that the pose had increased their testosterone levels (the hormone that helps you feel assertive and confident) and lowered their cortisol levels (the ‘stress’ hormone).
So before a big presentation, workshop, solo adventure or event, slip out somewhere quiet and do a high power pose for two minutes. You’ll be surprised how using your own body can help your own mind!
5. Look back and list it!
Ever look at your resume or CV and think ‘Oh I totally forgot about that project’ or you’ve worked someone for years and only the most recent tasks are at the forefront of your mind? Well this is where our love for lists comes in! Physically seeing your achievements written down can really help with imposter syndrome. This can be done in different ways depending on your personal vibe.
We love sticking a post-it note up on your wall every time something successful happened because of you, we’re talking little wins – like your dominant male boss didn’t interrupt your presentation to correct you or you set up 4 phone meetings for the next week with potential new clients, and also big wins – hitting a financial target, landing a promotion, launching your business!
Another way to do this is, every couple of months, take a step back and look back at everything you’ve achieved in that time, list it in your note book and have the realisation that you are constantly smashing it, day in and day out, even when you don’t realise it!
One final point to remember is that as uncomfortable as imposter syndrome may make you feel, it’s not necessarily a bad thing to experience, as it means you’re pushing yourself to your full capacity and grasping those opportunities to help you on your path. Sometimes it can be terrifying, but you have every right to give it a go, and enjoy the journey!
